I CAN FEEL THE WINDS IN MY LIFE ABOUT TO CHANGE. I CAN FEEL THE FLOORS BENEATH MY FEET ABOUT TO SHIFT IN ANOTHER DIRECTION.
All I do is breathe, pray, stand strong in my faith and try to remember that all things happen for a reason and there’s a lessen in every storm. Knowing this, doesn’t make it easy. Storms are not always easy to bear.
Priorities are important things or people; things or people that are put before all things; the things or people that you value and care about the most.
From My Heart: Priorities has become like the chicken and the egg-which comes first (its takes the chicken to lay the egg and it can’t be an egg without the chicken unless God made the egg first). Which is most important? Your child or Your Job-you need to work to provide for your child.
At some point, there has to be a balance in your life and a sacrifice for your children or a sacrifice for the love of your life. Without love, does anything else really matters or have any value? Gaining all the riches in the world and have no one to give it too or share it with, is a lonely feeling. Love should be your reason for all things. Love should be above all things. Your first priority should be love.
Advice- Put your children before your hair and nails. Keep a roof over your head before you buy a car. Pay the bills before you buy new clothes. Buy medications before you shop for shoes. Put food in the house before you eat out. Give money to those in need and take care of your responsibilities.
I only needed you to help me get from point A to point B. Things happen in life that cannot be controlled, storms comes and things change. When I said that I needed you, I didn’t mean that you would be my source of living for life. You treated me as if I was a beggar, a user… less than a woman because I needed you. Isn’t a woman suppose to need a man and be able to depend on him. I didn’t ask anything of you that I wouldn’t have done a thousand times for you. And you know this with all your heart and soul.
Did I not give to you from the little that I had when I needed, you did not give? Did I not care for you still when you cared for me not? Knowing you could helped and you didn’t raise a finger to save me, I saved you.
Now, that I’m on my feet and doing well, you want to be back in my life again I-Don’t-Think-So
In My Heart, I walked into the hidden pit down in my own soul. I don’t know if I will make it out alive. Things that I had blocked out throughout my life, felt like a rope around my neck.
Facing my own truth and drowning in the hurt that I thought had healed; A pit that I dug with my foolishness, lust, hollow reasons, fear, stubbornness, anger, pride and regret. My chest feels tight as if someone was sitting on it and my body has gone numb. Consciences has a shovel above the pit, throwing dirt on my head trying to bury me.
The pits of hell in my heart has many doors, still no way out, to open every door would kill me I blocked it all out for a reason…. To stay alive inside It’s all before my eyes, every where I turn, and its there I take a breath, calling the name of Jesus. He takes my hand and pulled me out of me, healing me along the way.
Some part of the pit is still there waiting to destroy me or maybe to make me strong but Jesus and I will work it all out in time, in love.
Trying hard not to make the same mistakes; ending up making different mistakes for the same reasons. Outcome: it’s still a mistake. Trying hard not to repeat history, forgetting the past yet the past drives your every move. Your past mark your footsteps and direct you to only places of comfort and control. Trying to make decisions, to make up for all the mistakes you made and change the things you could not control; sacrificing self to no ends. When in fact, it is what it is… what’s done is done. Trying to pretend it all went away when things got better but the effects of your mistakes never go away. You just have to deal with it every time it come back to remind. Trying not to go down the same path and detour from anything or anybody that reminds you of the guilt of your past; missing the path of blessings because of fear.
Guilt: the sinking of a heart, drowning of a soul in regret and shame. Confess, forgive self and more on.
Desperation is an anxiousness of the heart; driven by desires; a need to control or manipulate Time and distance; a mind narrowed by greed; tunnel vision of selfishness. Desperation, nothing is enough and there is an underlining problem, fear or need. Desperation: A need for one thing to satisfy another; starving for something-fulfilling one hunger to feed another hunger: trying to fill an empty space with a temporary thing,
From My Heart Every choice, every decision, and every desperate things that puts pressure on your heart and mind, blind you from truth and wisdom. Every decision or choice should be made in patience, wisdom, research and peace.
Having a conscience once meant, if you did wrong, it was strong possibility that your conscience would convict your heart or soul and you were quick to do what is right or sincerely felt bad about the wrong you had done. Having a sincere heart made your accusers forgive and forget and that gave you another chance to get things right. Once upon a time, much respect was given to a person that had a conscience.
Now, people do as they please rather it’s wrong, hurtful, belittling, unfair or degrading to others. Having a conscience doesn’t change anything if there are no morals or values in place. The voice of a conscience is too soft to hear; a hard heart deafens the ears. It’s too weak to be felt because it’s buried under anger, selfishness, greed, hunger, pleasures, fear, hurt or regrets.
From My Heart: Your conscience is your Holy Spirit urging your heart, mind, body and soul to do what is right, holy and acceptable in God’s sight. Your conscience is the soft voice of God teaching you, guiding and you using to bless others. Your conscience is the love of God trying to saving you from yourself.
Cheaters The faithful cheater is someone who cheats every now and then, so that a pattern or trail isn’t notice.
Seasonal cheaters (it depend on the weather to determine their mood for being unfaithful). The Spring & Summer are the best times; body parts of the opposite sex are exposed.
The Rich Cheater –because he/she is the provider (takes care of home) that justifies the right to cheat; Money gives them the right to do as they please, when they want, with whom they want to do it with. They give things as substitute for love, affection and emotional support. Cheating is a mere hobby or a pass time.
Old School Cheaters, which are the long-term cheater, everyone accepts the fact that there is someone else and they all know about each other. The lovin is good, everybody is satisfied and as long as he’s providing for all and supplying the goods, women share him fairly.
The Dog – He/She couldn’t be faithful is their lives depended on it. No “One” man or woman is enough. He/She don’t need a reason or motivate to cheat, it comes natural. He/She has no regret and no need to apologize if caught in the act of unfaithfulness. He/She has no honor or respect for the body, heart, mind or soul of their lovers. The Dog is often driven by past hurt, fear, insecurities, a need to prove things; driven by a hunger that can’t be satisfied. The penis and eyes of a man are like the nose of a dog, always sniffing somebody’s butt. A woman is always needing something to screw rather it’s somebody’s life, a penis or toys.
From My Heart: It takes special and unique people to cheat. It takes skill and organization. You have to be able to justify your wrong, make your wrongs to be right and alter your conscience. There is nothing you can do to make a cheater faithful. Cheating is embedded in the heart and it doesn’t take much for the mind to follow. Allowing that person to stay in your life after the trust has been broken is like keeping an untamed tiger that has already eaten part of your heart.