Wisdom Notes-28

IT’S SO HARD TO COMMUNICATE; ONE WORD CAN HAVE SO-MANY-DIFFERENT MEANINGS.

I love you means I like you alot. I miss you means I miss something you do. I need you means I need sex. Your the one means your the one right now. I trust you means I trust as far as I can see. Don’t go means stay until I don’t need you. You hurt my feelings means nothing.

Wisdom Notes-17

It’s Hard To See Things A Better Way. It’s Hard To Always Do Things The Right Way. It’s Hard To Believe When Your Body Is In Pain. It’s Hard To Trust Something You Can’t See. It’s Hard To Change With A Broken Spirit. It’s Hard To Walk Through Fear. It’s Hard To Love When Your Heart Has Been Torn Apart…

Be patient with yourself. Be patient with God. Nothing last forever but God’s love for you. There is Wisdom in everything that happens. A hard heart can’t learn wisdom.

Time To See

Poetry

It’s time to see the truth and face things as they are. Don’t stay stuck where you are, in yesterday’s ways and painful memories. Your habits, freedom, mixed up priorities and heartaches may runs deep within you but you know in your heart what needs to be done.

It’s time to see and accept how you feel and scream it out, cry it out or write out and let it go. It’s hard to see when tears fill your eyes and worry get’s the best of you. You can’t feel if you don’t believe, you can’t breathe if you don’t try to take a deep breath. Don’t waste your time being where you are not wanted; don’t wanted someone that don’t want you; don’t give your whole self to a relationship that cause you to lose yourself; don’t stress over things that you cannot change-just pray yourself through it.

It’s time to see and say goodbye to what will never be.  Accept only what is best for you and yours.

Traps

Prayer
Every trap they set, I step right in it Bear traps, mines, pits, wells, ovens…… They know me better than I know myself. I can’t make it out without you Lord, That, that I do, I can’t undo. I realized it’s a trap a little too late. Traps are planted everywhere I go, everywhere I move. Every failure could cost me my life or alter my life in such a major way.

Some traps, I see but my heart hopes for the best and I want to believe that it’s real. Some traps are set on the other side of the mountain and I don’t see it till I get up the hills. Some traps are set so well, it’s hard to believe that it was all just a trap. Some traps, the hold is so painful and last so long before I’m free. Some traps, even when I’m free, it still hold me bound. Every trap that is set well prepared before I was born, it’s set with the wisdom of time. Ropes, chains, barbwire, duck-tape… My enemies are prepared to destroy me

Father, the traps leave me weary, empty of hope, foolish, naïve, stupid and useless. Every trap hinders my faith, crush my self –worth and weaken my will to try again. Please save me. Amen

Eash Way Out

Poetry

I took the easy way out and leave without trying to work thing out In being afraid of losing you, I decided to leave first Instead of letting you speak, I spoke us to an end because I was afraid of what you might say I took the easy way out and said goodbye I assume whatever I needed to, in order to get through what you may have been thinking because your words were few I look in your eyes and I was afraid of what I saw, what I didn’t see and what I always wanted to see that wasn’t there. I took the easy way out, left and hurt myself I was afraid feeling weak inside; weak to your touch, weak to your kindness, weak when you’re standing close. Your touch, your kiss, your heart…. I was afraid that it wouldn’t last and I needed it forever I was afraid of love and took the easy way out and ran from love and a life with you and now that I’m gone, I’m afraid you won’t want me, I’m afraid of, if you do want me to come back I’m afraid to go back Being afraid is an easy way out

I took the easy way out, left and hurt myself. I was afraid feeling weak inside; weak to your touch, weak to your kindness, weak when you’re standing close. Your touch, your kiss, your heart…. I was afraid that it wouldn’t last and I needed it forever. I was afraid of love and took the easy way out and ran from love and a life with you and now that I’m gone, I’m afraid you won’t want me. I’m afraid of, if you do want me to come back I’m afraid to go back Being afraid is an easy way out.

 

Controlling You

Poetry
I tried to control you in us, for us. I tried to control what I didn’t understand. I tried to control what I was afraid of, losing you. You were the bird that stood in the palm of my hands. I held your feet to keep you from flying away from me, from us. I tried to be the god over us and take us in my own hands. I tried to control our future and our love. I tried to breathe and think for the both of us. You were all I saw, felt and thought about I couldn’t see me; I couldn’t see life without you, without us. I tried to secure what we shared by controlling our everyday. I tried to think for you and make the right decisions for us. I tried to control us because I was afraid of losing you I controlled you right out my life.

Time to say goodbye

Poetry
Time To Say Goodbye: When it’s all over between us and there’s no sun hiding behind the clouds. When our ears stop listening and our eyes forget to see what we once work so hard to keep. When there are no feelings left to care, no mercy left to give and no strength to keep trying. When all that is left is the memory of pain and pointed fingers Lord, please give us the courage to say goodbye in peace. When everything has been given and there is nothing else to take. When all the conversations are expressed in arguments, disrespect and frustration. When accomplishments become tarnished, our success becomes our failures. When everything done, can’t be forgiven and everything said cannot be taken back, I pray Lord, that You will have mercy and heal both our hearts and allow time to pass quickly Or have mercy to help us walk away with a sweet goodbye.

From My Heart

I found out that God is a jealous God wanted me to know that there is no other more powerful and loving than He. He wanted me to love Him and trust almost as much as the love He has for me. He wants a chance to show me His love, a chance to show me that He would never leave me nor forsake me; that the doors He closed no one could open and doors He opened, no one could close. He let me know that He was God all by Himself and He didn’t need my help. God loved me enough to show me His heart. I learn to cast down every thought that exhaust itself against the word of God and His promises for my life. I laid every doubt at His feet and left it there. And I took a lot of deep breaths, blowing my caring upon waters that I could not see. I forgave myself. I finally chose to trust God with His plan for my life and heart. I tried hard not to lean on my own understanding and get out of the way of what God is doing. I started applying his word to my emotions, fears and worry because he said if I abide in Him and His word abided in me, anything I ask, this He would do if it was His will. On my rough days, I prayed in moaning because I had no words, God knew my heart and heard my cry and I waited for a change to come. After 40 years, God let me out the wilderness and answered my prayers. He said “Yes” to me. But He allows me to visit the wilderness to save soul for His Glory and touch heart with His love.

Blind

Blind Blind (not by choice) – restricted vision or no vision at all. Blind-to see and not see. Blind- un-willingness to see- sometimes the past keeps the future in darkness. Blind- when the eyes see and refuse to believe- believing brings about change. Blind to the truth- too painful to accept, accepting the truth cost more than your willing to pay. Blind- seeing what you want to see, seeing what is comfortable, seeing as you have always seen, seeing one way with one mind frame or mentality. Colored blind-Certain colors your eyes cannot see; unable to separate from other colors. Selective Blindness: blind when it’s convenience and seeing when it’s safe to see.

From My Heart: Being blind by choice doesn’t make it any less real. Knowing the truth and not accepting it, doesn’t make it go away. Denying the truth, you are only lying to yourself and others. See. Accept what you see. Take responsibility. Make a choice and make a change. If you need glasses, get some.