It Blesses My Heart To Love; It Blesses My Soul To Give; It Blesses My Everything To Care About Others & Being Needed Gives My Life Purpose.
I learned the hard way that my love, my giving, my caringness and my need to be needed was hindering certain People and getting in the way of God’s plan for their lives. I became their god and my God held my blessings up to keep me from hindering them.
God wanted a chance to show them how much he loved them if only they would trust in Him.
I only needed you to help me get from point A to point B. Things happen in life that cannot be controlled, storms comes and things change. When I said that I needed you, I didn’t mean that you would be my source of living for life. You treated me as if I was a beggar, a user… less than a woman because I needed you. Isn’t a woman suppose to need a man and be able to depend on him. I didn’t ask anything of you that I wouldn’t have done a thousand times for you. And you know this with all your heart and soul.
Did I not give to you from the little that I had when I needed, you did not give? Did I not care for you still when you cared for me not? Knowing you could helped and you didn’t raise a finger to save me, I saved you.
Now, that I’m on my feet and doing well, you want to be back in my life again I-Don’t-Think-So
I asked your reasons for your wrong and to justify the nights I had to be alone. You said that you got lost in time, drinking with the guys and family. You said that you forgot my birthday because of the stress of your the job. You said you got caught up at work, in the zone and you couldn’t call home. Over the weekend, you said some things came up or you needed to finish what you were doing elsewhere.
You couldn’t hear me trying to make you understand how much you were missed and needed. Laying my heart at your feet so that you would know the love that awaits for you. I tried to reach the favor in your heart with understanding, mercy and patience. I stayed on my knees in pray, praying for us, needing God to be a part of what we share.
I stepped back for a moment to go over everything you’ve said, every excuse you feed my heart. You’re just another man/person with good intentions and a heart that means well. I need a little bit more than that because my time is just as precious as yours.
It’s important for me to be the beginning of your days and ending of your nights. I should be as valuable as the breath you breathe and the blood that flow through your body. I should be the time before time; our time is the foundation of our strength and wisdom. I should be the arms that relieve your stress and tense body, you should be running to me
When I’m gone, I guess you will realize how important I was to your life. Tonight, I get on my knees and pray for my own heart, my own soul, my own life. I may not be important to you but I am most important to Christ.