Wisdom Notes-23

The Past Showed Up Smelling Good, Dressed In New Clothes That Covered The Old Ones; Wearing The Same Shoes That Walked On My Heart; Speaking The Same Words That Woke-Up Old Feelings To Set Familiar Traps. What Do I Do?

Close my eyes, nose, mouth, butt and ears, turn around and run like hell!

Poetry-Told What To Do

Poetry-Told What To Do

You cringe at every request I make of you. You get angry when I put my needs into words. You despise me to telling you what to do, which way to go, how to do things a little better or easier. All because I remind you of your mother or any woman that stripped you of your manhood and disrespected you in a hurtful way.

When did I become your enemy or your past instead of being your help-mate and best friend? What can I do to changed how you hear my words. Bottom line is, unless you love me with your whole heart, you will never be able to see through love’s eyes or hear me with love ears. Love is being humble and submit to each other.

Father Same Me

Prayer

My Father who are in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name Thy kingdom come, Thy will, will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Please Father, Lord Jesus, come save me from myself, save me from my own hands. Take me from the hands of man, from the hands of my enemies. Take back what’s yours that was stolen from inside me and keep it safe. Their claws are deep within my flesh and I can’t move from the tight grip. Their control covers me like the morning dew over the grass. Lord, be my ever thing again. Just you and I blessing the lives of others with love. Clean me up. Wash me whiter than snow. Create in me a clean heart and a sound mind. Heal my soul and give me new eyes to behold your wisdom and insight.

Father, save me from this thing called worldly love, called life, called living. This can’t be your plan for my life. I need you and your merciful blessings. Show me the way, that I shall do good and direct my path in the way that I should go. Father, save me Amen

The Last Call

Poetry
I called you in my time of need, pity and shame… I thought I wasn’t going to make it to see another day. I called you when the tears had swollen my eyes closed….you answered me not. You wouldn’t answer my call because I’ve called so many times, my life keeps falling apart. I called you when my child was in the operating room for over 4 hours. I called you when my car broke down; you left me stranded in the worst part of town.

I called you when my lights, water and gas was about to be turned off… you had and wouldn’t give. You didn’t answer because I wasn’t your responsibility. I called you when me and my children were homeless… you open not your doors. I called you when we were hungry and you feed us not… you judge me instead. I called you when my spirit was broken, my faith was paper thin… your words tore me apart. You, like others are quick to give prayer and slow to give a helping hand. I called you when trouble was on every side, my body beaten; my soul cut… you came not.

I called you before I pull the trigger, before I jumped off the ledge, before I swallowed every pill, before the blade cut my skin, I called you. I called you, woman of God, man of God, friends of Christ, people of the world… and you answered me not. You were my last call, my last cry for help…

Jesus heard my cry and saved me from myself. Satan knew that my blessings and my break-through was close and within my reach. I almost missed a life changing event.

Soul-Ties

There are a few things that create Soul-Ties: Sex, Sin, NeverBefore-Love, First Times, & Prayer. It’s the moment when sex becomes a function of your heart. It’s when, the only connection or communication you have with each other is sex that bonds you in an unhealthy way. It’s when sex is all you have to show each other love, when sex is the peaceful moment between the fights and arguments, you have nothing. If sex is the only thing you miss about your mate and sex is the reason you can’t make yourself walk away. It’s an addiction. Wisdom: Sex blinds the eyes, cripple the heart and cloud the mind. Sex is not love.

From My Heart: Sex without marriage is Sin. The outcome of Sin is pain, hurt, regret and shame. Sex isn’t something that you can take back or undo.

Prayer between two is the hardest bond to break. Spirit ties are deeper than the ocean, stronger than the strongest wind.

SELF-DESTRUCT

A slow pace toward condemning and destroying self in a way that no one else can; creating a bottomless pit in your own soul to drown your faith and love; allowing words to un-do the positive spirit in you; cutting your own heart open to be loved by any means necessary; closing your eyes to the truth and open your arms to embrace a lie; refusing to eliminate dead weight and remove infected leaches; choices to swallow the poison of others and die for someone that has no love for you.

From My Heart: Losing self in un-healthy love; losing self in life’s games; setting self up to fail by not being honest with yourself; pretending that the things in our lives are supposed to be, when those very things are destroying everything about you; choosing to embrace the things that are wrong for the soul, for the heart and spirit; opening doors that should not have been open; separating self from the word of God; paving roads that lead to the wrong places; going down roads that you will never return from.

SECRETS

A Secret is a moment kept from the one you love or the one that loves you. A Secret is an event or action that is kept hidden by the consciences. Secrets are un-regrettable mistakes of a selfish act.

From My Heart: Secrets hidden behind the eyes, affect your judgment, alter your perception and taint your trust. Secrets could change a life for better or for worst (often for worst). There are no secrets with God and what’s done in the dark, will come to the light sooner or later. Secrets grow inside of us like soft weeds. Secrets create a paranoid spirit within: you can’t trust so therefore, you can’t be trusted. Secrets takes a lot of energy to keep and it fester inside and separates love.

Prejudice

Prejudice: Raised to hate someone because of the color of their skin, where they were born, how they were raised or the status of their finances; Raised to believe that anyone other than your own is beneath you; Raised to see things through the eyes of your past, your friends or family; Raised to destroy something that you fear or don’t understand (In order to understand a thing, you must first care). Being Prejudice is an excuse to hate, to be mean and evil. Acts of Prejudices- a person’s right to judge another according to their own personal views.

From My Heart: Prejudice is not born inside a person. It is born from ignorance, jealousy and fear. Prejudices are taught. It’s taught by selfish, self-centered and narrow-minded people. It’s taught by damaged hearted people (victims of prejudices). The only time that there are no prejudices, is at a 4 way stop (but that’s only on good day) or it’s an attack on the US than we are one nation under God.

A prejudice system set up to destroy, divide, control and conqueror. Laws were created to be fair and protect the innocent but the loop-holes were created by the prejudice, greedy and conniving people.

It’s You

Poetry

It’s YOU If my body is wash whiter than snow or covered with filth; If my ears cannot hear and my eyes cannot see; If I prosper or prosper not, blessed or blessed not, it is you; If I cry, You are the reason for my tears, if I laugh it’s because you are my joy; If I lose, it is You that allow it to be taken or If I gain, it is You that giveth.

If my world crumbles and falls apart; If I lose my children, my family, my friends or lose the ability to think, feel and function, it’s You; If I sink to bottom of the ocean or able to climb the highest mountain, it’s you that allows; If I am lost or put in a jail cell beneath three decades of graves, I know you will save me. If I live, it’s because You gave me life; If I die, it is You that allow my life to be taken.

If I rise above a thousand hills or sink in sinking sands; If I am in the hospital bed filled with hopeless pain or going through life with no pain at all, it’s You. If my soul stayed anchored in You or if my soul stray; If my broken heart is healed or remain torn; If my heart is harden or harden not, it’s You

If I died today and saw heaven or died tomorrow and saw Hell, You will be with me. Because I believe you’ll be where ever I am, I am a complete a thought from the words spoken from your heart. You are my beginning and my end. Whatever happens or happens not; You allow because it’s part of your plan for my life and my life is you.

My Mother

Poetry

I see why my mother walked with her head down sometimes; remembering the cracks in the sidewalks and the rocks on the ground; occasionally glancing up to see which way she was going; feeling like her today’s being no different than your yesterdays. She was only left with memories & regret as if time itself was already set.

I understand my mother tears …the tears that ran down my mother’s face …the tears that only filled her eyes …..the tears she held inside and the tears she couldn’t cry. I understand the Tears that soothe her soul and ease the heart …. tears that fell when feelings that had no words and words had no meaning … tears that restored strength….. yesterday tears that had pride. I know the love of her heart and depth of her soul, the spirit of “knowing” and the wisdom of a woman a thousand years old.

I live the life of my mother; my heart beats at the rhythm of her soul, my steps…a continuation of her journey. I am my mother’s child. I see why my mother walked with her head down sometimes.